Thoughts On Lady Bird (Movie Review)

Thoughts On Lady Bird (Movie Review)

Yesterday I got the chance to see the movie Lady Bird. Like pretty much everyone else, I loved it. I don't usually watch a movie twice but in this case, I'm sure I'll make an exception. I feel the need to talk about this movie because I'm sure what I got out of it is very different than what most people got out of it.

From the reviews that I saw, most people say that this movie is mainly about a struggling relationship between a mother and a daughter. From my perspective, this movie is about a young girl filled with creativity and passion who's parents, school and society in general tries to undermine her full potential. Of course, like with any great movie, it is more complex than that, but this is what I view as the main point.

Here's the trailer:

It was almost physically painful to watch all of the mistakes that her mom and her school made. Evident by the fact that she gave herself her own weird name, Lady Bird was a radical individualist. Tragically, the world around her was trying to get her to conform. 

Just imagine if this girl was unschooled. If she could pursue her passions and fully experiment with her level of creativity from the beginning without being distracted by years of compulsory schooling and parental coercion, imagine where she'd be at 18!

Lady Bird wanted to blossom and do extraordinary things with her life but she was given a lot of restrictions. Of course, one of those restrictions was lack of money, which is part of reality, but there were many more unnecessary ones. For example, her mom had a habit of imposing limiting beliefs on her by telling her she isn't good enough. That's either because she didn't believe in her daughter or because she didn't want her daughter to move far away from her. I think it was a little bit of both.

One of the more heartbreaking scenes was when her mother said "I want you to be the very best version of yourself that you could be" and she replied, "what if this is the best version?" I know this may not have been what the writer intended, but this exchange of words perfectly shows one of the biggest mistakes that the mother made: she didn't accept her daughter for who she was. She didn't love her unconditionally, something that is crucial for children to flourish. Well maybe she did but she just didn't realize that her actions didn't show it. That makes it all the more tragic.

So yeah, those are some things that I got from the movie.

Patience Really Is Everything

Patience Really Is Everything

The ability to delay gratification, or patience, is one of the most valuable qualities a person could have. Especially when it comes to endeavors that take years before seeing rewards. For example, it is needed to become a doctor, write a book, learn a new language, loose weight etc.

Patience is a prerequisite for doing anything great.

Patience is what differentiates successful business owners and not-so-successful ones. That's because if you try to get as much money as possible as soon as possible, you are not focusing on what you should be focusing on, which is to build a solid foundation that will make your company last.

Patience does not come easy to me.

I became hyper-aware of this fact ever since I started my project, which was an affiliate website. With this site, I have struggled to do the things that don't get immediate results but are crucial for the long term success of the site.

Namely, I have neglected the fact that I should fill the site with interest pieces. Those are articles that don't make money directly but make the site as a whole more interesting and trustworthy. Such value is harder to see and more delayed. But it is very important for any website to have that in order for it to survive long-term.

The reason why it's not that easy to just go for the long term benefits is because of my scarcity mindset. I think 'if I don't take the money now, I may not get any at all in the future because some sort of disruption may occur in the market.' 

While those may be legitimate fears, I shouldn't put too much weight in them. Besides, I know that the people that are most successful are the ones that are strong enough to not take the money. 

Patience is very important if I want to be successful with anything. So right now I'm doing everything I can to strengthen that muscle. 

Tip On How To Better Yourself: Hang Out With People Better Than You

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. – Jim Rohn

This quote explains so much. It explains why I was so unambitious and unassertive in my highschool years. I only hung out with those type of people.

I can't say this was intentional but I later stopped hanging out with those friends completely. The bad thing is that I didn't spend time with new people, so I more or less stayed the same.

It wasn't until this year that I finally latched onto new people - ambitious and assertive people. I'm really starting to see a change in me as a result. This blog is proof of it, since it wouldn't exist if I didn't see those people doing it.

Another piece of evidence is how much better a runner I am as a direct result of running with people that are way better than me.

For better or for worse, attitudes are contagious, which is why it's crucial to be around the people with the attitude you want for yourself.  

Now that I've experienced it, there is no denying that you can shape who you are and what you become by changing the people you choose to spend your time with. 

You Don’t Need Permission To Get Started

Most schools and parents do a huge disservice to kids. Whether implicitly or explicitly, they tell them to look for permission from authority figures before doing what they want. Anything from going to the bathroom to studying what they really want to study. This creates young adults who wait for other people to tell them when they're ready to do something. 

As a result there are college students waiting to get a certificate before creating anything. They think they need to get an English degree before writing for the public or a Business degree before starting their own business.  

Stop waiting to be "qualified" - you can take action now. The only permission you need is from yourself. This is something I wish I knew when I was younger. 

Forget About Rewards – Do Things For Their Own Sake

Forget About Rewards – Do Things For Their Own Sake

Every once in a while I get in a mood where I don't feel like doing anything. Take writing a product review for my other website for example. In those blue moments I'm thinking things like "what if no one will read it?" or "what if I get outcompeted by other more established sites?"

Those things would mean that my effort would have been for nothing. That is a very possible thing that could happen and it has been one of my greatest mental obstacles, not only in writing but in virtually everything else. 

This is just irrational - I'm basically demanding a guarantee of results before I go out and do something, when we all know that nothing in life can be guaranteed. 

I need to change my attitude on this.

I think one cure for this mental obstacle is to not care about the result in the first place. I've noticed that the people who become successful are the people who enjoy the process more than they enjoy the reward. You can see this very clearly with all NBA players - even if they didn't make any money out of it, you can tell that they'd still keep playing basketball in their free time. 

Just like them I need to learn to love the process way more than the reward. I can already see this manifested with some things in my life: playing basketball, running, blogging and other things I can't think of right now. It may be that it is not possible for me to learn to love writing product reviews, in which case I'll have to move on to something else. But I do think it's possible to learn to love even the most mundane job, you just have to get creative. 

My goal is to eventually have everything I do be something I'd do even if there was no reward. Because the more my days are filled with that, the more fulfilling a life I will have.  

Understanding My Limitations

Understanding My Limitations

I love running.

I love it because of how clear a metaphor it is for so many aspects of life. It's one of the simplest ways to teach yourself how to become a better person. For example, the experience of pushing yourself after you think you have nothing left is something you can transfer in your work or relationships. 

Running has taught me a lot about myself, including the fact that I am capable of more than I previously thought. Just when I thought I couldn't run any longer, I somehow found a way to keep going. (mostly with the help of running with other people)

It turns out that whenever I feel like stopping, I usually have more than a few miles left in me. Thinking that I couldn't keep going was all in my head. I had a self imposed limitation that wasn't reflective of reality. The cool thing is that the more you push yourself the more you realize that you don't know where your own limit is.

If this is true for running, where else is it true? That is an exciting question to wonder about.

The Case For Being An Uninformed Citizen

The Case For Being An Uninformed Citizen

How much of your time do you spend thinking about politics? 

Me? I'm ashamed to say how much time I spent listening to political podcasts and YouTube channels in the past few years. I thought it would make me a respectable person who could hold conversations at cocktail parties. But I was just kidding myself - I don't even like drinking. 

For some time I actually thought having that type of knowledge was important. I often agreed when people said that "the government affects you whether you like it or not so you better pay attention to it" and "the world would be a better place if more people got involved in politics."

I now think paying attention to politics is a waste of time and mental energy, especially when you think about the opportunity cost.

I can say for a fact that my reality would have been the same, if not a lot better, had I never payed any attention to politics. In other words, if I never knew what's going on in the Middle East or even who is my current president, my life would have been no worse. I simply don't think those facts will ever become useful in my life other than for trivial purposes. 

Sure that information may convey that something bad is going on, but it does me no good to know them. Just like it does me no good to know that a dog just got run over a couple blocks from me. It's a huge bummer, but there's nothing I can do and therefore no reason to know. In fact, it would have been better to not be aware of the k-9's tragedy because knowing such a thing only makes me depressed and unfocused. That's a net-negative for society.

Even if knowing a little bit about what's going on at the national level can be useful, shouldn't it be proportionate to your control over it? For example, spending 20% of your time learning about what's going on in politics is irrational if you have an almost-non-existent power to do something impactful with it. 

While it may be important to be aware of the government's laws and policies at a basic level, very quickly we run into diminishing returns. That point is when we watch the news like a drama show every day and keep up with the president's tweets.

I don't know about you, but I've noticed that the people that pay the most attention to politics have less control over their emotions. You can see this with the people that went out of their minds when Trump won because they thought the world was coming to an end. Their mood is beholden to the political climate.

The thought of paying attention to what Trump is up to and getting mad over it is just absurd. There's nothing the average citizen could do. Voting comes every 4 years and even then your vote has virtually no impact. So just stop wasting your time and focus on things you do have control over.

If anything, elections makes people more passive: it fools them into thinking that they're making a difference in the world just by voting. 

Young people (particularly college students) are the ones who should ignore politics the most. They still have a lot to improve about themselves before they spend (in my opinion waste) so much of their time trying to save the world through politics. As Jordan Peterson would say, "they need to sort themselves out first."

People should measure all of the time and emotional energy used on arguing and fretting over politics and compare it to the actual impact that they have had with it. I think if they did that, most would immediately give up on politics and take on a more cost effective endeavor for themselves such as bettering their immediate environment. If everyone did that I believe the world would truly be a better place. 

Why I Love Podcasts

Why I Love Podcasts

I don't mean to sound like a hipster but I got into podcasts before they were cool. I got into podcasts in 2008. I don't really remember how I stumbled upon them. I do remember thinking how awesome the medium was. I instantly saw it as a great opportunity to both entertain and educate myself. Now I welcome waiting in long lines and getting stuck in traffic.

Ever since I discovered them, you would always see me with headphones on, even during school, which was a constant nuisance to my teachers. Podcasts have basically replaced music for me. 

I not only listened to purely entertaining podcasts such as comedy and storytelling, but I also listened to educational ones. Podcasts made learning entertaining again! Ever since I discovered them, podcasts have been my main source of education. Not books and definitely not school. 

What I love about podcasts the most, other than it being free, is that it is a great way to get to know people. (usually the host)

I have loved so many different podcasts and most of them have fallen out of favor over time, much like how friends sometimes fall out of favor. 

This happens mostly because I have changed my preferences and priorities. For example, right now I'm in a period where I'm looking to improve my life, so a lot comedy and political podcasts have slowly fallen off my plate as I add more self-helpy ones.

Here are the podcasts that I'm currently listening to on a weekly basis:

There's a few more that I listen to depending whether I like the guest/topic but those are the ones I currently listen to no matter what. 

Creating My Own Success Story

Creating My Own Success Story

Yesterday I listened to Isaac Morehouse's podcast episodes were TK Coleman told his story.  In them I got to hear TK's weird professional path, which was nothing short of amazing. Other than being entertaining, there were quite a few lessons that I learned from his journey. Things like 'you don't need to plan out your whole life to be successful - you just need to treat every opportunity you take with integrity.' He also reinforced in me the importance of constantly doing something creative such as blogging. 

However inspiring TK's story was, I couldn't help but think of how little I related to him. It seemed that he had a good amount of integrity, confidence, and resolve which are things that I'm currently lacking in.

Listening to the podcast made me wonder whether those intangibles can be newly created or whether they are something you need to have from the beginning in some way.

What if all of the qualities that make a person successful - integrity, confidence, resolve, resilience, curiosity, the ability to defer gratification etc. - have been killed inside of me due to the fact that they were neglected (and sometimes outright smothered) for so long?

I'm starting with a far from ideal family history, which has fostered in me immense self-doubt and self-hatred. Right now I'm in the process of removing all that muck from my system.

To this date, I have yet to hear stories that started with my specific deficiencies and ended up with happiness and fulfillment. Maybe there's a reason for that - because most of the ones that started like me didn't succeed. That's a really scary possibility.

Even if that's true I'm not going to let it stop me from trying.

Stop Chasing Symbols

I have a distaste for when people chase the appearance of results (or symbols). Most notably is when parents make their kids say things like "please and thank you." These parents think "my kid just said the words, so that means he must be kind and considerate, right?" Wrong. While it's true that all kind people usually say please and thank you, it is not true that all people who say please and thank you are kind. 

I feel like too many people focus on symbols way too much, which in turn leads them to forget about the purpose behind them. We focus on the symbol and then mistake it for reality. 

For example:

I often see people trying to chase the former because they think it must mean the latter. I also see parents and schools trying to push kids to achieve the symbol. The funny thing is that the more they try to force the symbol the more they stray away from what they really want.

I think this is tragic.

Stop chasing symbols.