Parenting

In Response to Jordan Peterson’s Parenting Advice (Rebuttal)

I have many concerns with Jordan B. Peterson’s advice on parenting. Going into his book, I already knew that my views on the matter differed, but I didn’t expect it to be by such a wide margin. Full disclosure: I have little experience with children. However, studying how one can best raise children has been a focus of mine for more than 5 years. I partly pursue this because it’s a great form of self-therapy and partly because I want to eventually use …

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Radical Self-Acceptance

Today I started reading Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. It crossed my radar because Tim Ferris has strongly recommended it in the past. I gotta say, so far it’s looking to be a book that I didn’t know I so desperately needed.  In the beginning, Dr Brach told a story of a woman who was on her deathbed. Before she passed, she was able to reveal this profound and heartbreaking insight to her daughter:You know, all my life I thought something was wrong …

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Parents Should Be the Most Charitable Interpreters of Their Own Kids

Children a) are powerless and b) don’t yet have all the mental tools to express their feelings and needs effectively. (Though I’m afraid “b” is not exclusive to kids) Instead of assuming “bad behavior” or “disrespect” or “he’s trying to dominate me” whenever children do something they don’t like, parents should assume “they don’t know better ways to express themselves yet” or “they haven’t had enough practice.”  The former interpretation will cause anger and an attempt (often in the form of punishment) to repress …

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Why I’m So Interested In Unschooling Even Though I Don’t Have Kids

I love learning about unschooling. I love writing and reading about it. Just in case you didn’t know, I’m a single 24-year-old male with currently no desire of having children. So why the heck would I be interested in that? Well, there’s a few reasons. (If you’re not familiar, you can read my last post to learn what unschooling means to me)1) For Self-KnowledgeI think learning about this parenting philosophy is a very effective form of self-therapy because it provides a rational lens …

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Peaceful Parenting And Unschooling

Since I’m so interested in peaceful parenting and unschooling, I thought I should take the time to think about it and write down what those terms mean to me. Sometimes I interchange the two which may cause some confusion, but that’s because I do take them to mean the same thing. I’ll explain.Peaceful ParentingOn the surface, peaceful parenting may seem like it’s just about refraining to physically harm children, but it actually goes beyond that. Peaceful parenting is about respecting a child’s …

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Shyness Is A Result Of Trauma

“I’m shy at first, but once we get to know each other I can be very outgoing.” When people describe themselves, I hear that sentiment quite often. A long time ago I was someone who may have said such a thing thinking it was just a part of my personality. Now I see the tragic implications of those words.  To understand the implications lets first define what it means to be shy. I’m defining shyness as being fearful of expressing yourself around others. This …

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Why Your Book Recommendations Are Futile

Have you ever had trouble getting your family or friends to watch your favorite shows, read your favorite books, adopt a certain perspective? That’s the story of my life. Sometimes I read, watch, or listen to something that I find so valuable that I can’t help but share it in an effort to improve the lives around me. I’d say my success rate is about 2%. I used to get upset when it didn’t work, but now I don’t because I have learned …

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How To Raise Happy Children

If I asked parents what is the number one thing they want for their children, I bet most of them would say happiness. Some may have a roundabout way of saying it, for example they may say they want them to have a nice career or a spouse and kids, but that’s because they think those achievements will lead to happiness. Either way you can boil it down to parents want their kids to have a happy and fulfilling life. Despite the fact …

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Why It’s Wrong To Lie To Kids About Santa

I think it’s safe to say that most parents use Santa as a way to manipulate their children’s behavior. It’s something that is deeply embedded in the Santa mythology. As declared in the famous song, “he knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.” It’s basically Santa lore 101 – the first thing you explain to your kid is that he brings presents ONLY to the good boys and girls. How many parents do you think have threatened their …

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The Problem With Making Kids Say “Thank You”

One big annoyance I experienced growing up was whenever my parents forced me to say “thank you” in front of other people. It was bad enough that they teased words out of me with no care for what I actually felt, but to make me say it in front of another person angered me to no end. I’d think “now that you told me to do it, they’ll think I won’t really mean it! Now there’s no point in saying it!” But …

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