So It’s been about a year since I’ve set up this blog of mine and I’ve yet to post anything.
The main reason of why I’ve struggled to put anything on here is because I have severe anxiety. Basically I’m afraid to put my thoughts and feelings into the world and potentially being judged for them. There is a lot to say as to why I feel this way, which will have to be a topic for a future post.
So why do I want to publicly write about my thoughts and feelings if I am afraid of doing so?
Well, precisely because I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I want to finally feel free to express my true self (though first I have to do some digging to see who my true self is). I think confronting it in the form of a public blog is a great way to work towards that goal. Even if no one sees my writing, as a person with constant self-censorship in his system, this is a big step for me.
Besides that, there are so many benefits to writing a blog. Benefits which include:
- Putting my thoughts out will allow people that think alike to find me, thus creating the kind of relationships I want to create. This might also weed out the kind of people I don’t want in my life.
- Developing writing skills and creativity
- Finding my voice / learning about myself
- Documenting my progress in life
- Building a good habit
- Gaining confidence in myself
So obviously there are many benefits, but just for the purpose of analysis I’ll list my potential hindrances:
- I could say the “wrong” thing and be crucified by the internet Justine Sacco style
- Since I plan on being personal and honest, I will be more vulnerable
- My beliefs will be out in the open and I may be ostracized by groups that dislike them, including potential employers
That’s all I can think of right now though I’m sure there are more.
Anyway, I understand that this is a double-edged sword. After thinking about this long and hard, I am confident that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Besides, I think that privacy is dead in this age and this blog is at least a way to control my “image.”